BDBH Head Chatter

While some of us are hanging all the mistletoe and singing of happy holidays and joy to the world, many gravitate to less cheerful holiday carols to mask how they feel. As bouncy and bright as Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You,” is it just a way to sugarplum coat the more truthful reality of the Emotions, “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?”. In a season of pandemics, isolation, and loss, this question is no longer rhetorical. As trees go up, lights twinkle amongst wreaths and reindeer, and the world fills with good cheer, let’s not overlook that many are closer to boo hoo hoo hoo than ho ho ho. And do understand these words are not to be grinch or put any coal in anyone’s stocking.    It is just taking a moment to pause among the carols and last-minute Christmas sales and the frantic pace of gift-giving. First, not overlooking the many that are close to us may be having a Blue Christmas, including yourself. That a letter to Santa will not bring back a job, a ...

When we enter relationships there are many components that can derail the relationship before it begins. I purposely don't mention personalities or how to resolve conflict, what this speaks of is our basic needs and how if those needs aren't met within the relationship negative things can happen, the relationship can be over before it begins or we can spend our lives within the relationship and check out mentally. Below is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and what I've done is applied them to being in a relationship and how it would look if those needs were not met within the relationship. I encourage you to provide feedback. Oh, I've used the term "coupling" to refer to couples.  - Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest - In Coupling, these needs must be met so that each partner can feel safe in the created environment. - If this stage isn't reached early in a relationship, the relationship can end quickly or immediately become toxic. - Safety need...