BDBH Head Chatter

Finding and Living Your Ten What is the one thing that you can do every day that you cannot imagine living the rest of your life without? That is your ten . As I grew up in Miami, Florida.   I knew from a very early age that I wanted to love people,  but it took me until I was over the age of 40 to make the connection on how to love people and make an honest living 😊 .   I see life on a scale of one to ten.   One is getting up every day, existing, going back to sleep and repeating it the next day.   Ten is living a mindful life, enjoying and paying attention to the times you are in the presence of others.   Getting up every day with purpose and excitement, looking forward to doing that one thing that brings you joy and purpose.   That thing, is defined for the purpose of this topic as, if there was a way that your physical needs were met, a way where you could live the life that you dreamed with the resources necessary to live ideally.   If there was a way that all

I posted this February 22, on another site.  I've created this new blog and want to bring over the older posts.  So here goes... I was in class yesterday.  The seminar was on rape.  Sitting and listening I had the best awakening.  One snippet that was given was: "Rape victims are more likely to be abused after being raped."  I thought to myself, "how could someone that just experienced a traumatic event "allow" themselves to be put back into that situation. This is what I've come up with, first my own thinking is faulty, it isn't ALLOWED , and secondly, once someone has been violated I believe one or two things happen.  Either they implode or explode.  Meaning they'll either internalize or externalize.  My educated guess is that the women or men that implode are likely to fit into this category.  If I would guess it would be that they can go through self-hate and self-blame. If someone doesn't reach out or this person or they reach out f

I posted this January 25, 2015, on another site.  I've created this new blog and want to bring over the older posts.  So here goes... It has been said that behavior won't change as long as there is a reward, and the award that is received can be difficult to give it up.  So, no matter who encourages this person to do better, they will not change that behavior as long as that reward is meaningful to them and present.  The reward has to be removed or no longer stimulating for that behavior to stop. Rewards can be a personal fulfillment, a personal gratification, momentary, mentally or physically stimulating.  If the reward isn't or can't be removed you may not stand a chance competing with it.  Know where you are, who you are and what you mean to anyone that matters to you.  Confusion and heart ache happens in my opinion when one believes they can stand toe to toe with a "reward..." That's a beast that no man can slay...

I posted this January 8, 2015, on another site.  I've created this new blog and want to bring over the older posts.  So here goes... I don't believe that anyone, where your souls have connected, doesn't want the best for their partner. This opinion can be my ability to live inside Harmonyville , where the sun shines every day and rainbows cascade over the mountain tops.  Where the birds chirp in the trees and they never poop as they fly overhead.  Where the mountain tops are covered with snow and the temperature is a constant 75 degrees year round.  I believe that fear grasps the hearts of many, and when placed next to a loved one that fear overpowers and sometimes take control; so much so that it can lead to some saying hurtful things, breakups and even violence. When two people meet and are intertwined, they grow together, they reach together.  And when one begins to grow exclusively dissension, mistrust and even hate can come forward.  If the relationship is worth en

I posted this August 12, 2012, on another site.  I've created this new blog and want to bring over the older posts.  So here goes... I remember ear hustling while my Mom and Aunts would talk when I was younger.  Their conversations many times revolved around hair.  the women in my family have beautiful.  The women in my family have beautiful hair.  My Mom and Aunt moved to Miami, Fl and I remember them rolling their hair every night with the large pink rollers where the usual routine was to remove the roller the next morning comb all the hair to the back, place both hands on each side of the mane and push forward creating that swoop, which then a comb was placed in the front to create a bang like formation.  I have learned since being an adult that Mom's job was much like factory work or should I was the working conditions were like such. When she returned home, many times her hair looked nothing like it did when she left the house that morning; that could be contributed to