Who appointed you the gatekeeper of emotions or mental health?

  There is somehow a consensus that emotions, feelings, and thoughts of suicide belong only to the down and trodden. Those who have suffered in some way, and not just regular suffered, suffered to where you have experienced financial hardship, been classified as needy, or have somehow not measured up to society's standards. there is a belief that those that have, or the right or wealthy, have no right or reason to feel what "normal people" feel. I'm wondering out loud, who appointed anyone as the gatekeeper of fallen emotions or suicidal thoughts? Who said that those who have experienced a come-up cannot partake in feeling proud, living a better life, or moving to where they can preserve their safety, lifestyle, or sanity?  I sit with my mouth gaped when I read, "what do (insert any name) have to be upset about? They have millions; what are they complaining about? Or, "I'm sure that because of their background that they'll be BBQs on the white house

No Gifts to Give by Christopher Ervin

While some of us are hanging all the mistletoe and singing of happy holidays and joy to the world, many gravitate to less cheerful holiday carols to mask how they feel. As bouncy and bright as Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You,” is it just a way to sugarplum coat the more truthful reality of the Emotions, “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?”. In a season of pandemics, isolation, and loss, this question is no longer rhetorical. As trees go up, lights twinkle amongst wreaths and reindeer, and the world fills with good cheer, let’s not overlook that many are closer to boo hoo hoo hoo than ho ho ho. And do understand these words are not to be grinch or put any coal in anyone’s stocking.    It is just taking a moment to pause among the carols and last-minute Christmas sales and the frantic pace of gift-giving. First, not overlooking the many that are close to us may be having a Blue Christmas, including yourself. That a letter to Santa will not bring back a job, a house, a

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for Couples

When we enter relationships there are many components that can derail the relationship before it begins. I purposely don't mention personalities or how to resolve conflict, what this speaks of is our basic needs and how if those needs aren't met within the relationship negative things can happen, the relationship can be over before it begins or we can spend our lives within the relationship and check out mentally. Below is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and what I've done is applied them to being in a relationship and how it would look if those needs were not met within the relationship. I encourage you to provide feedback. Oh, I've used the term "coupling" to refer to couples.  - Physiological needs: food, water, warmth, rest - In Coupling, these needs must be met so that each partner can feel safe in the created environment. - If this stage isn't reached early in a relationship, the relationship can end quickly or immediately become toxic. - Safety need


Let's talk about forgiveness. There are many opinions on the subject, and if asked, each opinion-er will argue that they are correct or valid; and this article will not fail in providing you with yet another opinion on forgiveness. Beginning with the definition: after googling the description, this one best fits this article.  Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim changes feelings and attitude regarding an offense; let's go of negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance. To elaborate on that definition, forgives is choosing to let go of the negative energy that binds you to the person that offended or wronged you. It is you who decides not to allow that negative energy to keep you two bound together. I have heard throughout life that  forgiveness is for the victim, not the offender.  I usually dismissed the thought and the person behind such foolish talk, which was what I believed it was. I now understand. Choosing to forgive some

Are you Living in a Alternate Reality?

Imagine the possibility of each of us operating in our own reality. To show this draw a straight line on a piece of paper. The bottom would be your birth, and the top would be death. The middle is where you are right now. If we were to exist on this continuum, then our lives would mimic ideal. Now imagine that every time something happened to us that was difficult to process, it kicked us off the "straight and narrow." At that time, the new path becomes reality, altered by the life event. Every time something happens, this pushes us further from our true selves. The version that was the most authentic becomes altered and failing to regroup put using this faux-reality. Imagine existing in this faux-reality since the age of five. You may not even know how to re-group at this point. And because everyone has different life experiences and different milestones everyone has a different reality. Now compare that to how people in society relate to each other. Imagine if

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Follow the link to the latest on identifying The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, recognizing it in your partner, and identifying if you are the abuser.  Click on the highlighted words below. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

What His Death Showed Me!

What his death showed me. What I now know… truly great men/women don’t live long. When my grandfather died, I was young about five I think, but I remember. This was the beginning of me separating myself from death, I shed few tears if any.I remember when my aunt Mayola died. I was about nine or ten years old. She had been in the hospital for a while, and when I got the word that she had died, I told myself that I didn’t know her that well, that she was in the hospital and she was going to die anyway, and I shed few tears. When my grandmother died, I told myself that she was old, that she was going to die. She was 100 years old. I told myself that it was her time and I shed few tears. When my Aunt Cat died, I told myself that she had been sick for a while and that it was her time. I shed few tears at her funeral. When my cousin Nicholas died though it was a car accident and it was completely unexpected I told myself that it was his time, and I shed few tears. When my cousin Deborah