Are you fighting for a different position in someone else's head?


Is there anything worse than respecting someone, adoring their demeanor, acknowledging their accomplishments, and loving everything about them, and then hearing that they don't hold you in the same regard? To spend time and energy trying to relocate your position in their head? This can be a defeating task. There is no winning in this fight, because if you happen to move to a better position, the haunting thought of why you were held in such disregard can keep you awake at night.

Categories and labels are how we sort life. Many say they don't like labels, but aren't they necessary? Say you travel. You decide to try a local dish. You cannot pronounce it. You taste it anyway. Your partner asks you the inevitable, "What does it taste like?" Now it tastes like nothing you've ever tasted, but you cannot say that, so you say, "it tastes like chicken." Now there is a connection. Now, they may try it.

Let's call the person in the first paragraph your mentor for the sake of conversation. In your mentor's life, the label that they have attached to you fits perfectly. However, when you find out that it isn't at or near the top of an imaginary spectrum that you've superimposed onto everyone and everything, you're now disappointed, and now the headbanging begins: "But why?" "I'm good at what I do", "I'm the best in my field", "Why doesn't he/she believe I'm as great as I believe I am?" I'll answer it for them, because it's their spectrum. They have decided to use their own gauge; in their spectrum, that's where you fit in. Now you can continue to headbang, or you can come to grips with the fact that labels and titles are how we define life, because I'm sure in your catalog someone is labeled incorrectly.

In short, you don't get to change how others think of you. It's their decision to categorize you based on their experiences. It is also why giving too much attention to negative categories is asinine. And, regardless of your education, experiences, or how wonderful you are, people see you based on either their broad experiences or their small minds. Now, using the words of my elders as I was growing up, "go find something else to do, you won't get anywhere right here." 
with Better Decisions comes Better Health

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